Working on Personal and Spiritual Growth

For months, I have sat back and observed myself struggling with my faith and in what direction it is supposed to be leading me. It began when I found out that Jesus, whom I have learned to love, idolize and assumeD to be God, was merely the re-creation of Horus, son of Isis and Osirus. I have been told repeatedly that it should not affect my view of God but I can’t wrap my head around it yet. I BELIEVE that God is still God and that, being my Creator, is the only one to be worshiped, but let’s face it, like so many raised in the church, I learned to worship Jesus. It’d be so much easier had I been raised with virtually no background and were, more or less, a blank slate!

For decades, I’ve been taught that Jesus was equal with God and was, in fact, God himself. How’s that work? Are you and YOUR father the same person? How can Jesus (if indeed he even existed) be both God’s “only begotten” AND “equal”? Did God come up with this first and then change and fashion his creation inTO a completely different manner than he, himself, came from? Are you both your father’s “begotten” and simultaneously “equal” with him or do you have to grow a bit and work on catching up to your father? 

Here’s why the Osirus/Isis/Horus issue makes sense to me: because it is relatable. Because Isis literally went to the ends of the earth to find her mate and caused a love child to be created between them even AFTER his death (seems to be a very very ancient precursor of artifical insemination, don’t you think?) Who doesn’t like a good romance??!There are enough questions that arise (for me, anyway) in proportion to the how’s/why’s and wherefore’s in relation to this whole issue for it to bear more thorough research to be a necessity. The subject of God as taught by Christians is neatly wrapped up and contained in a predicatable, neat little package complete with Jesus as the bow. There are few questions aside from which new rule and regulation we can throw before our fellow believers cleverly wrapped up in the pursuit of conversion, i.e. The Great Commission. The vast majority of Chrstians are completely ignorant of the fact that we do this, so entrenched in habit has it become. 

And to those who are Christians, I am not disregarding what you believe; if it’s what keeps you grounded and acting right, keep at it, just don’t be disrespectful towards what I’m saying if you percieve that my actions and behaviour and spirit are right in line with what God stands for. Despite my belief that the book known to millions is full of stories being passed off as history rather than metaphore, I don’t discount everything in it, either. Just being PEOPLE tells us how to live in relative harmony with those around us. Being kind to your neighbor, or to strangers when you could choose to react a different way, are both Biblical and PRACTICALprincipals to live by and can lead to very positive relationships. The point is that these attitude norms are for us as people, not per race, per difference but extends to the core of us, not just relearned behavior.

I know that I am in for a long struggle till I’m at a place in my life where disbelief is no longer an issue and acceptance – towards God, myself and my past – is how I wake up every day seeing and living. Right now, life is a series of opportunities, good and bad, and reprucussions (equally good and bad). One day after another until the end of your life. Probably 90% of the world is unaware of this because life for humans is like an ant farm: we get up, do what we do, see who we see, all without realizing WHY we’re doing it all. Is it just surface selfishness or is there a deeper reason for our behavior and choices? A few of us are critically aware that our choices and behaviors are part of a puzzle that is “Who am I”, a question I believe controls the entirety of our  lives. I want to be active in my life. Although forces and factors outside of my life control the direction it takes, I want to be as involved as I can be. Having been created with the ability to speak and write, I have a certain amount of responsibility to use it as much as I can. 

I no longer remember my original reason for writing this blog. I had edibles and I am tore up from the floor up, and am having a damn near AWESOME experiment. My thoughts are a jumbled mass of snippits vibing for control for use and domination. Wow, this is great! I doubt many read this. People are lazy and don’t want to invest so much of their time into spending the time to read when there are so many other ways. But if you do, I thank you so much for taking the time. Time and money are two things we never seem to have enough of. 

Working on Personal and Spiritual Growth

Come to Peace Now; Fewer Regrets Later

ap_ap-photo1501-640x436 We are in the last days. I’m fully convinced of that.  Anyone paying attention to the goings-on here in the United States as well as the rest of the world will likely consede that things are declining quickly. Earthquakes, volcanoes, rioting and looting because of the still-relevant racial issues going on all over the country (likely the world but trying to keep this in “my own backyard”) are once more coming to a head.

sn401c_sg_0010b Whether things end like they’re described in the Bible or another way, the decline of society and civilization (or should I say UNcivilization) has progressed to a place where it would take a miracle to return to normal, assuming “normal” was ever anything other than a term used to keep people in their place.

riot42 This is not to say that I believe in anarchy because I certainly don’t. On the contrary, I would rather we sat down and held actual communication over a giant bowl of good herb. tumblr_inline_mlbqz7nWWu1qz4rgp

stock-photo-muslim-protest-and-protestors-with-picket-signs-1041110  I believe the government has no right to tell me what to do when that law violates what I believe to be the law of God, or at the very least, the BLESSING of God. WP_20150312_027 These days, that line has been monumentally blurred, maybe even obliterated, because the God that I believe in is apparently a different God than much of the world believes in, if they believe in one at all. Does this make me better than them? Hell no, of course not! It just makes me who I am and life experiences have helped shape me into the person I am.

right-way-wrong-way1 Nowadays, morality is what man says it is; what society dictates – God’s definition, to most people, is completely moot because man’s desire to have their own way supercedes what he wants and says and even more, no one is qualified to speak for a God who’s been around since the beginning, I don’t care what kind of degree some man hands you or how many hours you study. I’ve never studies Hebrew or Greek but I can tell you that I imagine that the more you study about God the LESS you know.

4219b439833fc71ca821413e836c6847 All of that is not true of myself – I’m well aware I am not God, nor do I want to be – and I have no problem with God telling me what to do because he’s been around forever and I have not. The most recent issue(s) today are the gay agenda and the race-related police killings leading to all kinds of anger and hatred. Both have been thrown into everything. Nothing is sacred or pure anymore, especially not love. What you do with your time and in your bedroom is your business but when you start messing with me and impeding on my right to believe and saying nasty crap to me, I will say something whether it’s taboo or not. Isn’t it funny how one-sided tolerance is? I’ve been tripping on that for quite some time now.

Hands on a globe --- Image by © Royalty-Free/Corbis As I stated earlier in another forum, I will add here, because it’s totally relevant to this blog: “There’s no hope left for America beyond the individuals who still love God and their fellow man. The best we can hope for anymore is to teach our children right from wrong, teach them to stand on their own two feet and treat their neighbors with respect and in the end, trust that we taught them enough.”

images Come to peace now. I am talking about inner peace; outter peace is temporary at best. If you come to peace now, you will have fewer regrets later because, in case you’ve missed it, bad things tend to accumulate (like a snowball going downhill) and you’re (and  I’m) going to need to be spiritually fortified in order to make it through. Choose your friends wisely- you’re going to need ALLIES in the days and months and possibly years to come.

God Speed. Go in Peace.

My Signature

Come to Peace Now; Fewer Regrets Later

What say you?

If you knew your child’s every breath was up to you to protect, would you change the way you parent? If you knew every word out of your mouth is stored in your child’s head, fusing with their ever-expanding vocabulary and self consciousness, would you change your parenting style? If you recognized your propensity for favoring one child over the other(s), would you change your parenting stye or keep making excuses? As I sit here by my son’s memorial cross, marking the spot where he was hit and killed and where I often go to sit and talk to him, I think about these things. The questions I ask are not multiple choice, they are rhetorical.

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I have all kinds of extra time to come up with pearls of wisdom these days lol. I have learned through my kids going into and through foster care and through death. Our children have never been in more danger than they are today. I wish I could do more to help others but my hands are full right now. I know that God will open the doors as I need to go through them. Nothing that happens in our lives is for no reason. We go through stuff so that we can help others who’ve gone through similar stuff. We’re all students of our own lives; some are cognizant of that, some are not. Both are needed in this world. Proverbs 22:6 says Train up a child in the way they should go and when they’re OLD they will not depart from it…The laws of the land are only as good as the people who live according to them and even then, we have the responsibility to decide whether those laws protect or hurt our kids in the long run (abortion is federally legal, cannabis is federally illegal but abortion kills children while cannabis can heal not only our kids but the earth they will inherit once we’re gone and they’re left to take care of what’s left of it). 

25745_340097196255_1291354_n Ish and the Stars

What say you?

It’s Simply Complicated

imagesThe further we progress in life, the more we divagate as people. Technologically, we keep progressing forward, we’re very good at doing these kinds of things. As people, for the most part, we’re abject failures. All too often, we can live next door to someone for decades with neither party being the wiser. A natural disaster, an apartment fire, or something equally negative is about the only thing that might happen, alerting you to the fact that you even HAVE neighbors, it seems like.

10553821_10152163098551256_8278471907802352853_oPersonally, I’m very much a people-person. My unrealistic side believes there’s hope for the devil; my practical side sees him as a necessary evil and my realistic side sees him as a major hindrance to spiritual growth. I appreciate technology and am grateful it exists (hence this blog Wink) but I ask myself whether or not I’d be able or ready to progress forward if it all crashed today, being brutally honest with myself. It’s a fair-and imperative-question to ask: who would thrive and be able to continue providing for their family if we had to return to the basics -and had no real, working concept of what that entails?

srvrWe have grown so used to watching shows like Survivor, Alaskan surviving programs and the like that we swear we’d know how to function but when the rubber meets the road, would we be really be able to make it post-apocolypse (so to speak)? I seriously doubt it, frankly. The predominant reason we would crash and burn is because we tend to forget these programs are at least mostly scripted whereas our involvement in a post apocolyptic would be entirely non-voluntary, not to mention a very rude awakening. For those of us who have lived pre-internet and remember when we used to walk and run and bend and stoop to do chores, we might have a chance but for this current and future generations, survival would be a very harsh reality.

images (1)We need to come back to where we could survive without technology. There are so many movies, television shows and documentaries surrounding this issue but to actually make it, we’d have to develop a little thing I call EXPERIENCE and that involves getting personally involved – with ourselves and with each other.

It’s Simply Complicated

Stop Building Bigger Barns; Re-learn to Share

A couple of days ago, my husband and i were at the doctor’s office. We were waiting for our ride back to our appointment, and were having a conversation about the economic gap between rich and poor, a very common conversation for us. What differentiated this conversation was an “aha” moment. As we talked, I mentioned how these mega churches were busy “building bigger barns” and that’s when my “aha” moment happened.

If you don’t recall the parable Jesus told, I will put it here for you all to read:

Luke 12

16 And he spake a parable unto them, saying, The ground of a certain rich man brought forth plentifully:

Luke Chapter 12: The Rich Man's Folly

The Rich Man’s Folly
Luke Chapter 12 : 16

17 And he thought within himself, saying, What shall I do, because I have no room where to bestow my fruits?

18 And he said, This will I do: I will pull down my barns, and build greater; and there will I bestow all my fruits and my goods.

19 And I will say to my soul, Soul, thou hast much goods laid up for many years; take thine ease, eat, drink, and be merry.

20 But God said unto him, Thou fool, this night thy soul shall be required of thee: then whose shall those things be, which thou hast provided?

21 So is he that layeth up treasure for himself, and is not rich toward God.

22 And he said unto his disciples, Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat; neither for the body, what ye shall put on.

23 The life is more than meat, and the body is more than raiment.

24 Consider the ravens: for they neither sow nor reap; which neither have storehouse nor barn; and God feedeth them: how much more are ye better than the fowls?

25 And which of you with taking thought can add to his stature one cubit?

26 If ye then be not able to do that thing which is least, why take ye thought for the rest?

27 Consider the lilies how they grow: they toil not, they spin not; and yet I say unto you, that Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.

28 If then God so clothe the grass, which is to day in the field, and to morrow is cast into the oven; how much more will he clothe you, O ye of little faith?

29 And seek not ye what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink, neither be ye of doubtful mind.

30 For all these things do the nations of the world seek after: and your Father knoweth that ye have need of these things.

31 But rather seek ye the kingdom of God; and all these things shall be added unto you.

32 Fear not, little flock; for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.

33 Sell that ye have, and give alms; provide yourselves bags which wax not old, a treasure in the heavens that faileth not, where no thief approacheth, neither moth corrupteth.

34 For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

35 Let your loins be girded about, and your lights burning;

36 And ye yourselves like unto men that wait for their lord, when he will return from the wedding; that when he cometh and knocketh, they may open unto him immediately.

37 Blessed are those servants, whom the lord when he cometh shall find watching: verily I say unto you, that he shall gird himself, and make them to sit down to meat, and will come forth and serve them.

38 And if he shall come in the second watch, or come in the third watch, and find them so, blessed are those servants.

39 And this know, that if the goodman of the house had known what hour the thief would come, he would have watched, and not have suffered his house to be broken through.

40 Be ye therefore ready also: for the Son of man cometh at an hour when ye think not.

It has long bothered me that we have mega churches with so much poverty in this country. Yes, the poverty is everywhere but I live in the United States, so for the purposes of this blog, I will keep it “in my own backyard”. I believe it is encumbant upon the church to alleviate as much suffering as possible. It is dishonoring to God to hoarde what he has given and I pray that conviction will descend on these churches that are defying him to his face.

For those who ask, who are you? I say this, I am a watcher. I have no money, no fame, no fortune to my name. What I do have is a profound love for my God and my fellow man. Though imperfect, I am willing to do what I have to, to further the kingdom of God and am stepping out in boldness and faith. It takes a lot of courage to do anyting these days, to take a stand. All around us, people are opposed to any stand you take, if said stand goes against the word of God, whether one believes in it word verbatim or in it as a roadmap through life (they’ are not mutually exclusive) and makes you politically incorrect.

Taking care of our fellow man is not a matter of the law or the government, at least it shouldn’t be; it’s a matter of right and wrong, not an issue to be shoved off into the hands of people who don’t care one way or another. Because of the nature of our political landscape, it’s become a very cold world, and many, many people are dying and suffering who could be helped. There’s a huge discrepency between rich and poor. There are the 1%ers, as they say- those who own the majority of the money, the influence, and the property. Then there are the 99%ers – those who struggle to get by, pay for the lifestyle of the rich and famous (by going to see their movies, listen and buy their music, sport, etc.; and buy the products advertised, whether we need them or not), and, sadly, this is no different in the church than anywhere else.

To put things into perspective, let me show you what I mean:

Here’s a list of mega churches in this country and their numbers:

complete-list-mega-churches

None of this would not be a problem were it not for two primary issues that arise out of it. The first issue that arises is the discrepency between the rich and the poor. How can a preacher or pastor stand up and talk about God providing for us all when they’re hoarding the wealth, not paying taxes (as commanded by God – Render unto Caesar what belongs to Caesar…Mark 12:17) and so far removed from their people that they could probably have the same member for 20 years and never even realized that person exists past their initial joining. The second issue that arises is the impact that the mega church has on the world in general, which is already looking for reasons to dismiss God out-of-hand. Add a mega church into the mix with its cold, calculating, materialistic nature and who wants to join the family of God and what for when the options are 1) they don’t know you 2) they don’t care about you and 3) you’re only as valuable as the amount of money you sink into their organization (and if you don’t have any, they likely don’t know you even exist and so have no time for you at all). None of these reasons are representative of the God who’s supposed to care about us personally.

Don’t misunderstand me: I have no problem with people making money. I have no problem with wealth. If there wasn’t such a huge inconsistancy between rich and poor, I would say, do your thing but that’s not the case.

Consider this:

@s_1

Can a church claim to be fiscally responsible and preach about money to people when there is this level of poverty? Can they say that the level has nothing to do with them and that they should be able to accumulate all the wealth they want to when we’re supposed to be loving God and our neighbor as ourself?

As the body of Christ, we need to return to the basics. We are all, individually and collectively, responsible for each other. We’ve lost sight of this fact and we’ve drifted so far away from it for so long that we no longer regard our neighbor as our neighbor, but rather another person whom we decide whether or not we want to associate with depending on whether we “approve” or “disapprove” of their thoughts, lifestyle, or behavior. The fact that we’re family seems to have been forgotten.

So, what do I want to come about as a result of this post? In my mind, this is what I want: I want the church to either start paying taxes or to take the taxes that they WOULD be paying to invest in alleviating the homeless problem. There are a lot of creative people in this country – put your creativity into action. Stop hoarding and share. The only reason I wish I had resources would be to share. That’s it. You can’t take your wealth with you and when you go, you leave a lot of resources behind that could go to care for others.

I doubt anything will change although I stubbornly retain hope. I have faith in God; very little in man. My job is to be obedient to the urging of my Spirit, which I have done. What happens from hereon out rests with God. I learned a long time ago that sales, of any kind, is not my strength. Fortunately for me, God is alot bigger than I am and the Spirit is not bound by time and distance.

Remember, no man is an island. Share with your fellow man  and remember that if the shoe were on the other foot, you’d want others to share with you!

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Stop Building Bigger Barns; Re-learn to Share

Cannabis for Everyone

WP_20141020_13_36_57_Pro I can’t say this any plainer: cannabis needs to be rescheduled and reclassified from the top down. That means the White House down to the states down to the cities with uniformity all around.

545768_2970283702710_347753740_nI have been on a crusade for a decade to legalize. At the beginning, I confess, it was only because my husband had introduced me to this amazing plant and through usage of it, I learned the health (and psychological) benefits of it.

bullyCapitalism is a two headed dragon. On one hand, we can make money if we know the right people and have a head for numbers (i.e.fiscal genius). On the other hand, for those who have neither, we’re pretty much screwed. I didn’t set up the system and I think the system sucks. People should be on an even plain, especially when they’re willing to work for their food and shelter (the only true necessities we have). There’s nothing inherently wrong with making a profit, until making the profit becomes the end goal and one’s fellow man is left bleeding in the moonlight with his “friends” stepping over and on top of him as he lays there.

The Burning BushCannabis is a gift of God the Creator. Some believe in Him, others don’t, but that’s irrelevant. It’s a wonderful plant with a shitload of benefits. Benefits to cure cancer, benefits to help children, benefits to help thousands of diseases and ailments, including the soldiers we have returning from war with PTSD and missing and broken limbs – at a fraction of the cost of other medications where it costs $.50 a pill while they charge patients $500 a bottle. What kind of bullshit is this and why the hell is it allowed and no one says shit? No one wants to take a stance. No one want to be that person that others look at and call “Socialist” and all kinds of other names that people come up with to coerce someone into hanging out with the “popular kids”. Names that they call President Obama, the only person since Jimmy Carter trying to do any thing for us little people and they bastardize him for it! We talk out both sides of our mouths, of course, because all the time we’re trying to be all independent, we’re simultaneously trying to be like the others around us (Keeping up with the Joneses).

Loving TouchSometimes I feel like the only person on earth who gives a crap about things other than what people wear, or makeup or advancing “women’s rights” and all the other b.s. that makes up politics today is me and my husband. There may be one or two others that I know that care about other people (and caring about other people is the only reality that matters) but they are getting to be fewer and fewer.

world-peace-debi-hammondCannabis can hypothetically bring the world to peace. Although I don’t believe that there will ever be world peace in the sense that is commonly known (people are selfish by nature and must learn otherwise), I do believe that the cannabis lovers of the world can be at peace with one another if they stop trying to bully others into compliance just to further their agenda. People should be able to go to work, do their jobs and then go home and smoke their flipping brains out if they want to. They should be able to do so with he blessing of their primary care provider. They should be able to ingest it, put it in a bong, cook it in food. It’s an herb, people. They should be able to grow it at home or go to the store and get it without extortionary prices instead of hiding behind children (oh, but they’ll turn a blind eye to them huffing paint and glue with that It’s so dangerous for the kids rhetoric).

545768_2970283702710_347753740_nLegalize cannabis. Make our spokespeople listen to us. Remember that  the House & Senate are there, as well as the President and all elected officials of each city, state and county are there for US not the other way around. If you want something, fight for it! Of course, the only way for that to happen is for everyone to get in the same boat, on the same page; without that happening, not a damn thing will change.

Thank you for giving me a chance to stand on my soap box for a minute. soapbox (1)

To sign the “Full Legalization of Marijuana in the United States of America petition, click the link below:

https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/full-legalization-marijuana-united-states-america/4J1C5skR

https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/full-legalization-marijuana-united-states-america/4J1C5skR

Cannabis for Everyone

Your life is like a house

150_740625-0 I was sitting here, thinking about what to write. How did I want to phrase it? What do I want it to contain? I’ve been writing for the purpose of trying to reach the masses…needless to say, I haven’t been successful and it’s frustrating. I’m largely an “all-or-nothing” personality, seeing the world in mostly terms of black and white (but critically aware of the grey areas I know to exist). With the help of my joint of honey oil and chem dog hybrid, the answer came to me – I’m not supposed to write for them; I’m supposed to write for me!  Now, maybe it’s just me and everyone else has it figured out, but to me, it might have been an “aha” moment, as Oprah would say. I’m not 100% sure because who knows how my understanding will be in 10 minutes after more of the high focuses my thoughts. The only complaint I have about this strain (grown by myself in our tiny little grow area) is that it makes me ditzy. Today I joked that I should have called it “Space Cadet”. WinkSo many times I have stood in the kitchen, can opener in hand, wondering for 10 minutes why I’m standing there and what am I supposed to do with this? I have to smirk to myself after a minute and put the can opener back in the drawer and go back and sit down because we don’t have a cat or dog and the munchies don’t necessarily include a can opener when one can forage.

It occurs to me that our life is like a house; it has walls – the part of us that makes up who we are – beliefs, sexual orientation, our preferences (the ones we’re born with, not the ones we learn to settle for) in regards to color, favorite this-and-that, political leanings (again, from gut instinct, not coaching).  The inner core is also important and basically dictates whether or not the outter core stands, chips, falls or is destroyed, either through usage or through self destructive choices. One’s life is a series of choices: yes? no? Every time we do things the right way and listen to gut instinct and make the correct choices, that improves our life; every time we don’t do things the right way and despite knowing the ramifications, make the wrong choices because we decide to, we damage our outer core just a little bit more. Those cracks can be mended, with love and understanding and forgiveness, but will never fully as strong as before. This is why marriages don’t last these days. We’re developed into such a lazy, visually motivated world (He’s so cute/ She’s beautiful) that we rush into a relationship, get married too fast without really knowing the person we’re with. When you marry someone, no matter how long you’ve known them, there’s still the chance that they may go left-field on you without warning or that you will continue to ceases to communicate. Hop from the back seat to the bed to the alter and  you’re often taking your emotional life into your hands.

Only we  can decide how strong we want our house to be. We make a lot of bad decisions early in life but eventually we grow up and then we can take control over our own lives. There will always be people around us telling us what to do- such is the nature of living around laws- but ultimately, we must choose the ones that benefit our life and those that we choose to implement in order for others in our lives not to be harmed in any way. Laws are only as good as the context in which they stand. No, you should never steal – but should you find yourself in a position where your child is hungry and you have no money, I have no problem with gleaning in order for my child to be filled. Sue me – laws are meant to control when they should be meant to help ALL instead of a FEW. I’m thankful that I have never been in that position (plenty of years on food stamps and food pantry recipient but never had to steal, thank God, because as I say, I can’t lie my way out of a wet paper sack.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. Appreciate it so very much.

My Signature

Your life is like a house