Working on Personal and Spiritual Growth

For months, I have sat back and observed myself struggling with my faith and in what direction it is supposed to be leading me. It began when I found out that Jesus, whom I have learned to love, idolize and assumeD to be God, was merely the re-creation of Horus, son of Isis and Osirus. I have been told repeatedly that it should not affect my view of God but I can’t wrap my head around it yet. I BELIEVE that God is still God and that, being my Creator, is the only one to be worshiped, but let’s face it, like so many raised in the church, I learned to worship Jesus. It’d be so much easier had I been raised with virtually no background and were, more or less, a blank slate!

For decades, I’ve been taught that Jesus was equal with God and was, in fact, God himself. How’s that work? Are you and YOUR father the same person? How can Jesus (if indeed he even existed) be both God’s “only begotten” AND “equal”? Did God come up with this first and then change and fashion his creation inTO a completely different manner than he, himself, came from? Are you both your father’s “begotten” and simultaneously “equal” with him or do you have to grow a bit and work on catching up to your father? 

Here’s why the Osirus/Isis/Horus issue makes sense to me: because it is relatable. Because Isis literally went to the ends of the earth to find her mate and caused a love child to be created between them even AFTER his death (seems to be a very very ancient precursor of artifical insemination, don’t you think?) Who doesn’t like a good romance??!There are enough questions that arise (for me, anyway) in proportion to the how’s/why’s and wherefore’s in relation to this whole issue for it to bear more thorough research to be a necessity. The subject of God as taught by Christians is neatly wrapped up and contained in a predicatable, neat little package complete with Jesus as the bow. There are few questions aside from which new rule and regulation we can throw before our fellow believers cleverly wrapped up in the pursuit of conversion, i.e. The Great Commission. The vast majority of Chrstians are completely ignorant of the fact that we do this, so entrenched in habit has it become. 

And to those who are Christians, I am not disregarding what you believe; if it’s what keeps you grounded and acting right, keep at it, just don’t be disrespectful towards what I’m saying if you percieve that my actions and behaviour and spirit are right in line with what God stands for. Despite my belief that the book known to millions is full of stories being passed off as history rather than metaphore, I don’t discount everything in it, either. Just being PEOPLE tells us how to live in relative harmony with those around us. Being kind to your neighbor, or to strangers when you could choose to react a different way, are both Biblical and PRACTICALprincipals to live by and can lead to very positive relationships. The point is that these attitude norms are for us as people, not per race, per difference but extends to the core of us, not just relearned behavior.

I know that I am in for a long struggle till I’m at a place in my life where disbelief is no longer an issue and acceptance – towards God, myself and my past – is how I wake up every day seeing and living. Right now, life is a series of opportunities, good and bad, and reprucussions (equally good and bad). One day after another until the end of your life. Probably 90% of the world is unaware of this because life for humans is like an ant farm: we get up, do what we do, see who we see, all without realizing WHY we’re doing it all. Is it just surface selfishness or is there a deeper reason for our behavior and choices? A few of us are critically aware that our choices and behaviors are part of a puzzle that is “Who am I”, a question I believe controls the entirety of our  lives. I want to be active in my life. Although forces and factors outside of my life control the direction it takes, I want to be as involved as I can be. Having been created with the ability to speak and write, I have a certain amount of responsibility to use it as much as I can. 

I no longer remember my original reason for writing this blog. I had edibles and I am tore up from the floor up, and am having a damn near AWESOME experiment. My thoughts are a jumbled mass of snippits vibing for control for use and domination. Wow, this is great! I doubt many read this. People are lazy and don’t want to invest so much of their time into spending the time to read when there are so many other ways. But if you do, I thank you so much for taking the time. Time and money are two things we never seem to have enough of. 

Working on Personal and Spiritual Growth

Sativa Cannabis Strains to Off-set Addiction to Cocaine and Amphetamines

Also aids with Ecstasy, Molly and Crystal Meth

          STRAIN            EFFECT        COMPANY     PICTURE
                                                 SATIVA
White Russian Alert, Clear, Trippy Serious  White Russian 2
AK-47 Mellow, Cerebral, Spacey Serious  AK 47
AK-48 Cerebral Nirvana  AK 48
Arjan Haze # 1 Uplifting, Social Green House  Arjan Haze 1
Arjan  Haze #3 Creative Euphoric, Active Green House  Arjan 3 (2)
Arjan Ultra Haze #1 Meditative, Introspective Green House  arjans-ultra-haze-1
Arjan Ultra Haze #2 Giggly, Chatty, Social Green House  Ultra Haze #2
Strawberry Haze Creativity, Giggly Arjan  ArjansStrawberryHaze
Amnesia Haze Euphoric Soma’s Seeds  Amnesia Haze
Cannalope Haze Strong, Heady DNA  Cannalope Haze
Super Lemon Haze Uplifting, Creative Arjan  Super Lemon Haze
Dela Haze Uplifting, Active Paradise  delahaze 2
Dutch Haze Clear, Uplifting, Calming Dutch Passion  dutch haze
Hawaiian Haze Cerebral, Euphoric, Clear Arjan  1033515593Hawaiian-Haze
Nevil’s  Haze Strong, Cerebral, Psychedelic Federation  Nevil's Haze
Sage Cerebral, Alert T. H. Seeds  sage
Kali Mist Cerebral, Energetic Serious Seeds  Kali Mist
Cinderella 99 Uplifting, Giggly, Mental Gypsy Nirvana  Cinderella 99
Jack Herer Uplifting, Cerebral Green House  jack herer
Sour Diesel Up, Euphoric, Psychedelic Green House  sour diesel
New York City Diesel Up, Creative, Cerebral Soma Seeds  NYC diesel
Jack the Ripper Speedy, Trippy, Talkative T.G.A. Seeds  jack the ripper
Chocolope Euphoric D.N.A. Genetics  Cannalope Haze
                                     African Sativas and  Hybrids  
Ethiopian Highland Up, Creative African Seeds  ethiopian highland
Swazi Skunk Cerebral, Alert, Energetic African Seeds  swazi skunk
Malawi Gold Alert, Clear, Psychoactive African Seeds  malawi gold
Durban Poison Cerebral, Creative,Focused Dutch Passion  durban poison
Urban Poison Cheerful, Alert, Energetic Nirvana  urban-poison-1
Power Plant Strong, Uplifting, Giggly Dutch Passion

GEDSC DIGITAL CAMERA
GEDSC DIGITAL CAMERA
Swazi Safari Cerebral, Clear, Euphoric Flying Dutchmen  swazi safari

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Raphael “Herb’n Monk” Hameed and his Sour Grape grow in Los Angeles 2010

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Sativa Cannabis Strains to Off-set Addiction to Cocaine and Amphetamines

She Shouldn’t Have to Say Anything

The woman’s been through enough. From childhood through adulthood she has fallen down, been knocked over, mocked and through all the years has gotten back up every flipping time she was knocked on her ass.

Through all the years, she has amost always had one or two people in her life that she calls friends. This has been good. They’ve been there to listen, to talk to, to bitch to, to get into arguments with because let’s face it, no two people are the same and as they learn to communicate, the friendships that counted always lasted.

She grew up in a family that didn’t love her; rather, they were adopted her, doing their “religious duty” and although that served a specific purpose, it didn’t give her the security in her heart that most any and everyone craves, especially the girls and ladies. Missing that connection with her father and knowing her mother doesn’t love her, she gets kicked out into the world and tries to learn to acclimate to adult life. Due to the instability (emotionally) of her young life, her attempts to “act grownup” mostly lead her towards self destructive habits and fair-weather friends. There are so many more people in this world who’ll do what you want them to do because you have sex with them or because you buy the beer or … pick-a-reason whereas there are few who stay friends throughout the time of absence. The bad influences and temptations in our life far outnumber the positive ones. 

This lady had children, but can’t keep them; she has love in her life – amazing love – but periodically she has moments like this when she looks at her life and she wonders why everyone she’s ever known has forsaken her – why no one calls her, knowing she’s at home taking care of business. He needs her but SHE needs something or someone to call her up, ask if she’s ok. Does she need to go out and play? Go to the store, hang out, go for coffee…something. But no one ever does – they have lives and she feels guilty for feeling so alone and left out of life, work, etc.

She’s not waiting for entertainment – she jut wants to know she’s still relevant, still necessary, still fulfilling some purpose. Hoping and praying that her child didn’t die in vain, that the people in her life who used to be there, used to pick her up and take her out  or visit or whatever haven’t forgotten her. If it were a case of “Don’t know what to say” she’s understand but that doesn’t seem to be the case as those friends were with her through the tragedy.

Maybe it’s just one of those days or moments. One of those days and moments where one feels blue and questions everything. Yeah, most likely that’s it. It’s been raining for days and the sun has hardly shone and her boy is still dead and those brown eyes of his still haunt her. She is happy and jovial most of the time but her heart is still broken, even now, almost a year later. She hears of children graduating and rejoices in their progress even as she knows her little one should be in kindegarten right now and instead of putting him on the school bus, she walks by his memorial site which people keep visiting and occassionally put a new stuffed bear by his cross.

She is confident in her God. She is confident that her Creator loves her, guards her, corrects her when she’s wrong. He is her Dad  – her REAL Dad and He knows her pain, her misery, her sadness and He cares – despite the stuff going on with the world and global climate changes, the absolute moral decay, etc, He cares about her completely-as if she were the only thing on earth.

As she puffs on her Northern Lights bud, she realizes that as long as God’s in control – and  unlike so many these days, she doesn’t (not for a single second) believe God is anything but IN control- and she stops worrying about that stuff quite so much.

The long and short of it is this, she realizes. She has love, she has a roof over her head, she’s broke as hell but not homeless. A step up. A step forward. So what if she is lonely? It’s bound to happen. It’s GOING to happen. God knows what she needs. He won’t let it go too long before he supplies that need. She’s an extrovert. She needs people around her just as he needs solitude. She functions better around people. Staying home round clock is taxing but God is refining her. He is making sure she is ready – for what? No one seems to know but there’s no question that her life has been training, has always been training for it. Whatever it is.

By your grace, Lord, I am ready.

She Shouldn’t Have to Say Anything

Just Because You Can – Doesn’t Mean You Should

Malcolm As I write this, and largely WHY I’m writing this concerns Freddie Gray, the young man from Baltimore who was killed while in police custody. Police brutality is out of control and so are the reactions taking place. 

The United States Flag Allow me make a statement and then try to put something into prospective: just because a person is allowed to do something – doesn’t mean they should do it. Beyond that, let me say this: under no circumstances do I condone racism. It’s ugly, stupid and makes zero sense. I also do not condone police brutality. The police are supposed to be above racism, coersion and reproach but we’re inclined to forget that they are people, human and as subject to temptation, failure and success as we are, ourselves.

world-peace-debi-hammondI believe in peace. I’m also cognizant that peace is not always an option. In this case, by peace, I mean war versus peace – not inner peace which you can work to have whether the social/economic climate is peaceful or in upheaval as it is so heavily right now. 

10553821_10152163098551256_8278471907802352853_o Look, I don’t pretend to understand why people think the answer to events like the ones ending in the deaths of Michael Brown, Freddie Gray, and other’s who’ve suffered similar fates, at the hands of the police, is to go out and tear down their city. To not only destroy THEIR neighborhoods (as well as those around them – does anyone even care?) but those of other places as well. This isn’t about justice – justice would be holding those responsible accountable; what it IS about is people using senseless death as a means to anarchy.  

crack-cocaine-644x300 While we’re on the subject of taking care of our cit(ies), here’s a question: why can’t people put as much effort into cleaning up their neighborhoods as they do tearing it down when OTHERS mess it up? Why can’t we see what’s going so wrong and take appropriate steps to stop the violence, the anger, the hypocrisy (which is what this boils down to). These cities have been set on fire, vandalized and spoiled because of ONE individual – thousands become addicted to alcohol, heroin, cocaine, crack, you-name-it – and no one says anything. There’s no sense in hating the police. There’s no sense in tearing down the president, the other black leaders who really ARE trying to help (like the mayor of Boston who’s trying to bring her city under control). There’s no question that there are people who claim to represent, people like Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson who’s primary concerns are their own wallets and having their faces plastered on the front page, who help no one. 

images We need to come together as one people, united in love for community country, God, whatever. I know the odds are against me and it likely won’t happen but hey, a girl can dream, right? Stop tearing down the city you choose – choose life over death, will you? 

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Just Because You Can – Doesn’t Mean You Should

Come to Peace Now; Fewer Regrets Later

ap_ap-photo1501-640x436 We are in the last days. I’m fully convinced of that.  Anyone paying attention to the goings-on here in the United States as well as the rest of the world will likely consede that things are declining quickly. Earthquakes, volcanoes, rioting and looting because of the still-relevant racial issues going on all over the country (likely the world but trying to keep this in “my own backyard”) are once more coming to a head.

sn401c_sg_0010b Whether things end like they’re described in the Bible or another way, the decline of society and civilization (or should I say UNcivilization) has progressed to a place where it would take a miracle to return to normal, assuming “normal” was ever anything other than a term used to keep people in their place.

riot42 This is not to say that I believe in anarchy because I certainly don’t. On the contrary, I would rather we sat down and held actual communication over a giant bowl of good herb. tumblr_inline_mlbqz7nWWu1qz4rgp

stock-photo-muslim-protest-and-protestors-with-picket-signs-1041110  I believe the government has no right to tell me what to do when that law violates what I believe to be the law of God, or at the very least, the BLESSING of God. WP_20150312_027 These days, that line has been monumentally blurred, maybe even obliterated, because the God that I believe in is apparently a different God than much of the world believes in, if they believe in one at all. Does this make me better than them? Hell no, of course not! It just makes me who I am and life experiences have helped shape me into the person I am.

right-way-wrong-way1 Nowadays, morality is what man says it is; what society dictates – God’s definition, to most people, is completely moot because man’s desire to have their own way supercedes what he wants and says and even more, no one is qualified to speak for a God who’s been around since the beginning, I don’t care what kind of degree some man hands you or how many hours you study. I’ve never studies Hebrew or Greek but I can tell you that I imagine that the more you study about God the LESS you know.

4219b439833fc71ca821413e836c6847 All of that is not true of myself – I’m well aware I am not God, nor do I want to be – and I have no problem with God telling me what to do because he’s been around forever and I have not. The most recent issue(s) today are the gay agenda and the race-related police killings leading to all kinds of anger and hatred. Both have been thrown into everything. Nothing is sacred or pure anymore, especially not love. What you do with your time and in your bedroom is your business but when you start messing with me and impeding on my right to believe and saying nasty crap to me, I will say something whether it’s taboo or not. Isn’t it funny how one-sided tolerance is? I’ve been tripping on that for quite some time now.

Hands on a globe --- Image by © Royalty-Free/Corbis As I stated earlier in another forum, I will add here, because it’s totally relevant to this blog: “There’s no hope left for America beyond the individuals who still love God and their fellow man. The best we can hope for anymore is to teach our children right from wrong, teach them to stand on their own two feet and treat their neighbors with respect and in the end, trust that we taught them enough.”

images Come to peace now. I am talking about inner peace; outter peace is temporary at best. If you come to peace now, you will have fewer regrets later because, in case you’ve missed it, bad things tend to accumulate (like a snowball going downhill) and you’re (and  I’m) going to need to be spiritually fortified in order to make it through. Choose your friends wisely- you’re going to need ALLIES in the days and months and possibly years to come.

God Speed. Go in Peace.

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Come to Peace Now; Fewer Regrets Later

It’s Simply Complicated

imagesThe further we progress in life, the more we divagate as people. Technologically, we keep progressing forward, we’re very good at doing these kinds of things. As people, for the most part, we’re abject failures. All too often, we can live next door to someone for decades with neither party being the wiser. A natural disaster, an apartment fire, or something equally negative is about the only thing that might happen, alerting you to the fact that you even HAVE neighbors, it seems like.

10553821_10152163098551256_8278471907802352853_oPersonally, I’m very much a people-person. My unrealistic side believes there’s hope for the devil; my practical side sees him as a necessary evil and my realistic side sees him as a major hindrance to spiritual growth. I appreciate technology and am grateful it exists (hence this blog Wink) but I ask myself whether or not I’d be able or ready to progress forward if it all crashed today, being brutally honest with myself. It’s a fair-and imperative-question to ask: who would thrive and be able to continue providing for their family if we had to return to the basics -and had no real, working concept of what that entails?

srvrWe have grown so used to watching shows like Survivor, Alaskan surviving programs and the like that we swear we’d know how to function but when the rubber meets the road, would we be really be able to make it post-apocolypse (so to speak)? I seriously doubt it, frankly. The predominant reason we would crash and burn is because we tend to forget these programs are at least mostly scripted whereas our involvement in a post apocolyptic would be entirely non-voluntary, not to mention a very rude awakening. For those of us who have lived pre-internet and remember when we used to walk and run and bend and stoop to do chores, we might have a chance but for this current and future generations, survival would be a very harsh reality.

images (1)We need to come back to where we could survive without technology. There are so many movies, television shows and documentaries surrounding this issue but to actually make it, we’d have to develop a little thing I call EXPERIENCE and that involves getting personally involved – with ourselves and with each other.

It’s Simply Complicated

We’re Part of it Too

WP_20150312_027 It’s no secret that cannabis, and the cannabis-legalization movement- is escalating, even to the point of senators on both sides of the isle getting involved. Twenty three states and Washington D.C. have legalized for medicinal use and four states have legalized for recreational purposes (remember these are STATES that have legalized recreationally, this doesn’t mean that counties/towns/cities honor this because most don’t.  I am not getting into that; that’s another post Wink ). As time progresses, more and more states are getting involved and moving forward with legalization, for both medicinal and recreational purposes. I just read that according to High Times (http://www.hightimes.com/read/global-coalition-attempts-change-un-policy-medical-marijuana) the push for legalization of medical marijuana has increased to the point that the Global Coalition tried to change UN policy.

This is excellent progress and it makes me very happy to know this but there’s another aspect of this issue which is far more troubling to me. Cannabis legalization is for the rich – the 1% who are the only one with the means to buy and run dispensaries (usually multiple) while the people who buy the cannabis  and keep the dispensaries and recreational stores going are the common people (99%) like myself and so many others who spend hard earned money to keep the rich going. Yes, a lot of us grow our own meds but if you’ve grown at all, you know that it takes TIME for it to go from seed/clone to maturity, usually around 5-9 months if not longer and while you’re waiting for it to grow (unless you have space to have multiple grows going at various speeds simultaneously), you need your meds now.

I long to see the industry reach out to the people who love cannabis as much as they do. There are celebrities who are outspokenly in favor of legalization (Tommy Chong, James Franco, just to name a couple) and they should all use their positions to uplift the ones who have no real voice. It shouldn’t be so difficult for average person to get into the business. As I’ve stated before, in another blog (https://heidihameed.wordpress.com/2015/01/29/cannabis-for-everyone), cannabis needs to be either rescheduled – or better yet, DE-scheduled – so that anyone who wants to grow can grow. Cannabis is an herb with healing properties and growing it is easy and it’s highly rewarding. It could also be highly profitable even if it’s being grown and sold to do such basic of stuff as cover rent for a year or put your kids through school or whatever else you need money for. As a person who’s never had extra means, it is my fervent wish that others (and myself) be able to provide for ourselves and our kids without having to rely on food stamps, medicaid and other government programs. American’s should be allowed to be Americans, to live the American dream and pass our knowledge and finances (that we’ve accumulated ourselves) onto our kids and grandchildren. The rules and regulations that govern this land are all well and good until they make the Constitution of no effect which is what happens every time a person wants to do something and it’s what we’d term a “victim-less crime (which if you think about it is a contradiction in terms)”.

Let’s get cannabis legalized – completely and totally. There’s enough supply AND demand so that everyone who wants to grow, should. As Americans, growing up here in this country, we’re so accustomed to being controlled by Uncle Sam, rules and regulations and laws (whether they benefit mankind or not) that we don’t even think about them, much less fight against the ones that need to be rebelled against. When people refer to us as sheeple, it’s a phrase that should carry a ring of truth if it weren’t just a phrase that few understand. We’re a country of cliches, no question!

Other people can do what they want; as for me, I will never stop doing my part to carry the message across that we need to legalize for good. People are always going to buy pharmaceuticals and they’re always going to buy and sell and drink liquor. Yes, there would be more competition but isn’t that the point of competition?   WP_20150312_037

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We’re Part of it Too

Only Rescheduling Will Do

150_740625-0 For weeks, I have been thinking about something: legalization is all well and good and I’m delighted to see so many states legalizing for medical reasons. This year celebrates at least 4 states that have legalized for recreational use but that privilege comes at a cost – and with strings attached. In Colorado, Denver has so many recreational shops they have an area they termed “the Green Mile” (Clever, no?) but in Colorado Springs, just an hour or two south of Denver, no recreational shops at all. Why? Because even though the PEOPLE said, “Hell yeah” to legalization, the CITY said, “Fuck no” to recreational shops. Fair? Of course not but anyone who’s watched the PTB’s long enough knows that it doesn’t matter what the people want if those (with the money and influence) don’t want it. And they didn’t want cannabis – didn’t want anyone getting in the way of the yard they guard. Can’t be having the little guy making a buck or having their dreams fulfilled – that’d just be crazy!

In addition to this, it’s almost impossible to get hired at a Dispensary or in the marijuana business at all without having to travel the lengths and breadth of the earth with lashings aplenty. Nor can we get a job at anywhere else without having to cheat our way to it (faking clean urine, whatever, EVEN AS A PATIENT) or go unemployed. It’s all bullshit. Finding a position in one’s chosen field should NOT be this difficult!

With this in mind, I have come to this conclusion: legalization is awesome but not good enough. Even though Congress did make it so that the Federal Government can’t mess with the states any more that legalize for medical purposes (a redundancy if I ever heard one as cannabis is medicinal by nature), that doesn’t protect the people at all. Case in point? The same time they HID IN THE BUDGET that the Federal Government can’t mess with the states, they also took the opportunity to tell Washington D.C. to go fuck themselves by disallowing recreational use when the people (with something like 70% in favor) had just finished legalizing it. Yes, there’s some mealy-mouthed crap going on with the new Attorney General trying to talk out both sides of his mouth so at this moment, all he manages to say is that the people can’t do what they want to do – but the bill they passed isn’t irrelevant either. What the hell does that even mean? We need Cannabis lawyers to take on all the stories that come forward; dumb it down for us who don’t speak legalese.

Listen up. Only one thing will help our cause. Reschedule. Period. Nothing else will do. We have to legalize/reclassify it FEDERALLY because the states (who bitch about too much government) will fold like cheap suits if the Federal Government backs off and reclassifies what everyone knows to be true – cannabis is amazing shit. Doing so will take away the excuses that the states tote now – it’s still Federally illegal – and will (I hope) allow for the full potential of the cannabis plant to be utilized.

washington-dc-marijuana

The plants save children (our future) and our parents and relationships (peace, heals cancer & illnesses galore – thus, our present). Please stand up and defend what’s right. The old adage “The squeaky wheel gets the grease” is so true! squeeeeak, squeeeeak, squeeeeak!! .

If you don’t step up; won’t nothing happen. If you’re scared to step forward, remember that this is a plant that can HELP everyone, so unless you don’t have a crap about anyone else, this can only help YOU/ME.

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Only Rescheduling Will Do

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