It’s Simply Complicated

imagesThe further we progress in life, the more we divagate as people. Technologically, we keep progressing forward, we’re very good at doing these kinds of things. As people, for the most part, we’re abject failures. All too often, we can live next door to someone for decades with neither party being the wiser. A natural disaster, an apartment fire, or something equally negative is about the only thing that might happen, alerting you to the fact that you even HAVE neighbors, it seems like.

10553821_10152163098551256_8278471907802352853_oPersonally, I’m very much a people-person. My unrealistic side believes there’s hope for the devil; my practical side sees him as a necessary evil and my realistic side sees him as a major hindrance to spiritual growth. I appreciate technology and am grateful it exists (hence this blog Wink) but I ask myself whether or not I’d be able or ready to progress forward if it all crashed today, being brutally honest with myself. It’s a fair-and imperative-question to ask: who would thrive and be able to continue providing for their family if we had to return to the basics -and had no real, working concept of what that entails?

srvrWe have grown so used to watching shows like Survivor, Alaskan surviving programs and the like that we swear we’d know how to function but when the rubber meets the road, would we be really be able to make it post-apocolypse (so to speak)? I seriously doubt it, frankly. The predominant reason we would crash and burn is because we tend to forget these programs are at least mostly scripted whereas our involvement in a post apocolyptic would be entirely non-voluntary, not to mention a very rude awakening. For those of us who have lived pre-internet and remember when we used to walk and run and bend and stoop to do chores, we might have a chance but for this current and future generations, survival would be a very harsh reality.

images (1)We need to come back to where we could survive without technology. There are so many movies, television shows and documentaries surrounding this issue but to actually make it, we’d have to develop a little thing I call EXPERIENCE and that involves getting personally involved – with ourselves and with each other.

It’s Simply Complicated

Stop Building Bigger Barns; Re-learn to Share

A couple of days ago, my husband and i were at the doctor’s office. We were waiting for our ride back to our appointment, and were having a conversation about the economic gap between rich and poor, a very common conversation for us. What differentiated this conversation was an “aha” moment. As we talked, I mentioned how these mega churches were busy “building bigger barns” and that’s when my “aha” moment happened.

If you don’t recall the parable Jesus told, I will put it here for you all to read:

Luke 12

16 And he spake a parable unto them, saying, The ground of a certain rich man brought forth plentifully:

Luke Chapter 12: The Rich Man's Folly

The Rich Man’s Folly
Luke Chapter 12 : 16

17 And he thought within himself, saying, What shall I do, because I have no room where to bestow my fruits?

18 And he said, This will I do: I will pull down my barns, and build greater; and there will I bestow all my fruits and my goods.

19 And I will say to my soul, Soul, thou hast much goods laid up for many years; take thine ease, eat, drink, and be merry.

20 But God said unto him, Thou fool, this night thy soul shall be required of thee: then whose shall those things be, which thou hast provided?

21 So is he that layeth up treasure for himself, and is not rich toward God.

22 And he said unto his disciples, Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat; neither for the body, what ye shall put on.

23 The life is more than meat, and the body is more than raiment.

24 Consider the ravens: for they neither sow nor reap; which neither have storehouse nor barn; and God feedeth them: how much more are ye better than the fowls?

25 And which of you with taking thought can add to his stature one cubit?

26 If ye then be not able to do that thing which is least, why take ye thought for the rest?

27 Consider the lilies how they grow: they toil not, they spin not; and yet I say unto you, that Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.

28 If then God so clothe the grass, which is to day in the field, and to morrow is cast into the oven; how much more will he clothe you, O ye of little faith?

29 And seek not ye what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink, neither be ye of doubtful mind.

30 For all these things do the nations of the world seek after: and your Father knoweth that ye have need of these things.

31 But rather seek ye the kingdom of God; and all these things shall be added unto you.

32 Fear not, little flock; for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.

33 Sell that ye have, and give alms; provide yourselves bags which wax not old, a treasure in the heavens that faileth not, where no thief approacheth, neither moth corrupteth.

34 For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

35 Let your loins be girded about, and your lights burning;

36 And ye yourselves like unto men that wait for their lord, when he will return from the wedding; that when he cometh and knocketh, they may open unto him immediately.

37 Blessed are those servants, whom the lord when he cometh shall find watching: verily I say unto you, that he shall gird himself, and make them to sit down to meat, and will come forth and serve them.

38 And if he shall come in the second watch, or come in the third watch, and find them so, blessed are those servants.

39 And this know, that if the goodman of the house had known what hour the thief would come, he would have watched, and not have suffered his house to be broken through.

40 Be ye therefore ready also: for the Son of man cometh at an hour when ye think not.

It has long bothered me that we have mega churches with so much poverty in this country. Yes, the poverty is everywhere but I live in the United States, so for the purposes of this blog, I will keep it “in my own backyard”. I believe it is encumbant upon the church to alleviate as much suffering as possible. It is dishonoring to God to hoarde what he has given and I pray that conviction will descend on these churches that are defying him to his face.

For those who ask, who are you? I say this, I am a watcher. I have no money, no fame, no fortune to my name. What I do have is a profound love for my God and my fellow man. Though imperfect, I am willing to do what I have to, to further the kingdom of God and am stepping out in boldness and faith. It takes a lot of courage to do anyting these days, to take a stand. All around us, people are opposed to any stand you take, if said stand goes against the word of God, whether one believes in it word verbatim or in it as a roadmap through life (they’ are not mutually exclusive) and makes you politically incorrect.

Taking care of our fellow man is not a matter of the law or the government, at least it shouldn’t be; it’s a matter of right and wrong, not an issue to be shoved off into the hands of people who don’t care one way or another. Because of the nature of our political landscape, it’s become a very cold world, and many, many people are dying and suffering who could be helped. There’s a huge discrepency between rich and poor. There are the 1%ers, as they say- those who own the majority of the money, the influence, and the property. Then there are the 99%ers – those who struggle to get by, pay for the lifestyle of the rich and famous (by going to see their movies, listen and buy their music, sport, etc.; and buy the products advertised, whether we need them or not), and, sadly, this is no different in the church than anywhere else.

To put things into perspective, let me show you what I mean:

Here’s a list of mega churches in this country and their numbers:


None of this would not be a problem were it not for two primary issues that arise out of it. The first issue that arises is the discrepency between the rich and the poor. How can a preacher or pastor stand up and talk about God providing for us all when they’re hoarding the wealth, not paying taxes (as commanded by God – Render unto Caesar what belongs to Caesar…Mark 12:17) and so far removed from their people that they could probably have the same member for 20 years and never even realized that person exists past their initial joining. The second issue that arises is the impact that the mega church has on the world in general, which is already looking for reasons to dismiss God out-of-hand. Add a mega church into the mix with its cold, calculating, materialistic nature and who wants to join the family of God and what for when the options are 1) they don’t know you 2) they don’t care about you and 3) you’re only as valuable as the amount of money you sink into their organization (and if you don’t have any, they likely don’t know you even exist and so have no time for you at all). None of these reasons are representative of the God who’s supposed to care about us personally.

Don’t misunderstand me: I have no problem with people making money. I have no problem with wealth. If there wasn’t such a huge inconsistancy between rich and poor, I would say, do your thing but that’s not the case.

Consider this:


Can a church claim to be fiscally responsible and preach about money to people when there is this level of poverty? Can they say that the level has nothing to do with them and that they should be able to accumulate all the wealth they want to when we’re supposed to be loving God and our neighbor as ourself?

As the body of Christ, we need to return to the basics. We are all, individually and collectively, responsible for each other. We’ve lost sight of this fact and we’ve drifted so far away from it for so long that we no longer regard our neighbor as our neighbor, but rather another person whom we decide whether or not we want to associate with depending on whether we “approve” or “disapprove” of their thoughts, lifestyle, or behavior. The fact that we’re family seems to have been forgotten.

So, what do I want to come about as a result of this post? In my mind, this is what I want: I want the church to either start paying taxes or to take the taxes that they WOULD be paying to invest in alleviating the homeless problem. There are a lot of creative people in this country – put your creativity into action. Stop hoarding and share. The only reason I wish I had resources would be to share. That’s it. You can’t take your wealth with you and when you go, you leave a lot of resources behind that could go to care for others.

I doubt anything will change although I stubbornly retain hope. I have faith in God; very little in man. My job is to be obedient to the urging of my Spirit, which I have done. What happens from hereon out rests with God. I learned a long time ago that sales, of any kind, is not my strength. Fortunately for me, God is alot bigger than I am and the Spirit is not bound by time and distance.

Remember, no man is an island. Share with your fellow man  and remember that if the shoe were on the other foot, you’d want others to share with you!


Stop Building Bigger Barns; Re-learn to Share

Dear Family, Friends and allies

Once more, a change is upon us…tomorrow I am calling the Salvation Army and the R.J.Montgomery Center here in Colorado Springs to get my family into the shelter. Please be in prayer for us. We’ve been dealing with homelessness a long time and we yearn to have a place of our own. This is going to mean splitting up- Raphael will be in the men’s area and I will be in the women’s with Ish (unless we can get them to have Ish stay with Raphael which would be the best thing, as Raphael has taken care of Ish while I worked or went to school for 3/4 of his life.

We are excited by the prospect of leaving, no question. I am, and so is Raphael, scared to death while simultaneously understanding that this is what we need to do in order to get closer to town; for me to be able to take the class I need to take in order for us to get cash assistance until a job comes and to be closer to court so that I can get my license back, though it wasn’t my fault I lost it, still it wears on me as I am a law abiding citizen and would never in a million years, have risked my license for any reason. That’s water under the bridge and not worth going into. I have enough to deal with right now.

I don’t know who amongst you have been homeless, have dealt with it or lived it or known people who were, but I beg you, as a person who’s suffered more bullshit than I should have had to deal with, living in a “Godly” country (especially with a child involved and a happily put together family), to reach out to those who need help. Don’t wait till the “right family/individual” comes along- if you see a need- meet it. The church should have been knocking down my door to help- and they haven’t said a damn word. Few are the people I have been able to rely on, namely, the people of my house who are in this situation with me. The others have come and gone- done their bit then gone home and either prayed for us (very much appreciated) or forgotten all about us. They will answer to God for that- it’s not up to me.

I am here primarily to let any and all know, who read my blog or are following me, to patiently wait for my return. I know – most people don’t know who I am and pretty much could care less but for those who DO care- I love you and I will be back, God willing, before very long.

Thank you. Thank you for your prayers. This is hell on earth we are going through- children shouldn’t have to suffer like this and it rips my heart out to see the innocence with which Ish goes through life. Praise God he’s tough like Daddy and joyful like I normally am…with people like him in the world- there’s certainly hope yet.


Dear Family, Friends and allies

All I want this year…

My family and I really don’t celebrate holidays. We probably WOULD (a little more, anyway) if we didn’t have SURVIVAL in the brain rather than just living a “normal”, whatever that entails, life.

Tomorrow I turn 40; two days later, my husband turns 50. November 27, my oldest son Karl (adopted out since he was about 5) turns 18 and then we have Christmas and such coming up. I also lost Karl and his sister Katrina 2 weeks before Christmas 1999 and my husband lost his father around the same time, so needless to say, it’s ALREADY a hard time for us.

I know everyone gets to a place in their life where they thought life would turn our differently than it has- maybe for the better; more often than not, for the worse. I’m not sure about me- never have had grandiose dreams…just wanted to live and have a life. Be a secretary. Make my kids proud by graduating college when my adopted family didn’t even THINK about my going to college so I did it on my own.

I know I’m blessed- I have a wonderful family; one that the devil keeps trying to divide. Lots of people praying and it’s so much appreciated- but no one seems able to step forward and help us- that kind of love goes to others- animal shelters (nothing wrong with that in and of itself), other poor people- just not the Hameeds. We have to work stuff out ourselves, I guess. Wish there was someone who could and would help us. It’s not that it hasn’t happened- when we were in Chico, California, a homeless drunk reached into his pocket and pulled out all the change he had and gave it to Raphael and Ish. Another man bought us several days in a hotel so we didn’t have to sleep on the streets. That got us through. We left California- went to Iowa. That turned out much differently than we expected- and not for the better. Then another opportunity, just when that one ran it’s course- Colorado: a chance to help an old man who has diabetes. Room and board included. Sounded good, so I scraped together the money through an under-the-table job and out we came. A couple months into that, the man’s son came and it’s been downhill since. I lost my license because I went out looking for a job and got lost. Then found out (after being stopped by the police) that no registration, no insurance was applied to the car, we no longer feel comfortable here as the person who invited us in the first place now wants nothing to do with me. Yet another disappointment. Yet another broken road, only this time, no surprise train track to step on to ride to the next destination.

We know what we need: we need a motel room for about a month, maybe 2. That’ll give us time to hook up with Human Services, look for work (God willing) and we crossed a big hurdle today- getting our son evaluated for Preschool (he qualified as a person with a disability, so we have help in THAT department, thank God). We’re back to the old quandary  the one that never gets resolved- if we leave, we’ll be closer to town- but separated; if we stay…not really a possibility. I have court in December to try to get my license back. Public transportation isn’t a problem- we’re from Los Angeles- I think we can figure it out.

I have had people praying for us. We appreciate it and in no way think of it any other way than a miracle, all by itself. However, in my human, scared  way, I wonder if some people might not say that just to not have to say that they don’t have time; they don’t have the money; they don’t have time to think about anything else because they plan to buy their kids expensive toys for Christmas or whatnot. Maybe I ought not to even think about that but put yourself in my shoes…what would YOU do to keep YOUR family together?

Ok, I guess I’m done (on paper, so to speak) feeling sorry for myself. I’m desperate. We need to leave- not knowing where you’re going to be the next day is scary as hell so please forgive me if I step on toes or speak the truth because I’ve lived a long time and know how hard life can be.

All I want this year…