Carving a Spot for Me

The Burning BushAre you looking for a job? Have you tried everything you could to bring honor to your family, to keep them housed and clothed and still can’t accomplish your intent? If so, then you know where I stand!

Months ago, when cannabis was legalized here in Colorado, purportedly “like alcohol and tobacco”, most everyone (in favor) was super pumped, including me. Thoughts of being able to find employment in the business; Dreams of finally being able to work without having a pass a drug test (for those who do nothing but smoke/eat cannabis); Being allowed to cross the street to get our cannabis – all dreams that fall so short of reality.

I was so blind! Why I let my guard down is beyond me; guess I’m just a glass-half-full kind of person. Despite a lifetime of experience to the contrary, I still expect things to work out in the end. I still expect people to get up and fight for what they believe in. When it comes to the cannabis issue, I thought that maybe for once, we could count on our governing body to do what’s right with regard to cannabis use. Unfortunately, as the Herb’n Monk says, it’s more illegal now than it was before it was legalized!! How, you ask? Before, there was only one reason for it being legalized- medicinal use – so the criteria of it being legal was much simpler and easily defined. Now that it’s been “legalized”, there are a hundred ways around that because of the politics involved. The medical and liquor industries don’t want the competition. This section of the state wants to open recreational shops – that one doesn’t.

Back in 2011 I was working at the Huntington Hotel in Los Angeles. I’d been there nearly 3 years- the longest position I had or have ever held in one  position. The economy stunk- if you remember, 2011 was in the latter parts of the recession. The hotel closed down; all the tenants were displaced and we (my family and I) were given $5,000 to relocate (by law we were supposed to receive more but they said take it or leave with nothing so what were we supposed to do?). We bought a cheap car and went north to Chico, also in California. For more than a year, we tried to obtain employment, fulfilled all the requirements for being on public assistance and despite being homeless, though temporarily housed at a shelter, stuck together as a family and worked to make life better for ourselves and our son.

After more moving around, we finally settled in Colorado Springs. We just HAD to land in the most “conservative” section of Colorado (El Paso County)- isn’t that a pip!!?

Following a year of working as a volunteer at Overcomers International Ministry, I decided to leave and seek other opportunities. But what opportunities? Unless you know someone, getting into “the industry” is impossible.  I went to Denver for the Canna Ready Job Fair and it was soooo much fun! Marijuana JobsI picked up the information about obtaining my badge and after looking at it, am not even sure I’ll be able to obtain it as I have defaulted student loans. That’t not going to stop me from working on it because I need to be involved – somehow – even if it’s just (unofficially) writing about it. That’s not good enough for me, though. I want to sit down and write my books-in-progress but need to have backup capital to do so. I need a job of some kind. I have a family to support, like thousands of other people who are cannabis enthusiasts. I need a friend in the industry; I need help.

I will continue to seek employment opportunities. I haven’t decided yet on whether or not I am going to just fully detox, get a job and resume my smoking habits…I just don’t know at this point in time. What SHOULD I do? No idea. What CAN I do? Say “Screw principal” and just go ahead and detox (which won’t be pretty because I smoke to offset the PTSD that I deal with on a regular basis).

I WILL say that I’m honored to be among so many others who can’t get – or are fired from – jobs because they’re choosing cannabis over alcohol. Despite what others say, this IS a discrimination issue. According to, discrimination is defined as

“treatment or consideration of, or making a distinction in favor of or against, 

a person or thing based on the group, class, or category to which that person or thing belongs 

rather than on individual merit:racial and religious intolerance and discrimination.

You notice this says nothing as to it’s legality or illegality; that’s because laws change to reflect the will of the people (most of whom want cannabis legalized) but those who make, write and carry out those laws aren’t moving at the speed of progress so in effect, it’s like the leanings towards legalization is DSL Speed and the lawmakers are still on Dial-up.

Something needs to be done to improve this. What, I don’t know! I wish I did; I wish I had the capital and resources to make a dent in this issue. My whole life revolves around “hurry up and wait” as they say. Battling depression is so much bigger a job than just not keeping a smile on one’s face…depression has SIDE EFFECTS like lack of sleep, weight gain or loss, depending on the person (mine is weight GAIN), headaches, pain for no reason, exhaustion, lack of energy, high blood pressure…the list could go on and on.

In spite of my physical and emotional health, I have work to do. I don’t have time to sit around and feel sorry for myself. I need to make progress. Keeping God in the loop, trusting him to open doors is imperative <to me> as well. If not for him, I wouldn’t even exist so obviously he’s not going to be on the sidelines. I need HIM to open doors. I’m trusting him to get me through my search and to make himself clear to me because for the last couple of months I have been learning some things that have left me horribly unsettled and that’s not helping me either but one mustn’t be afraid to set aside comfort for the pursuit of truth and I’m there, brother, I’m ALL THE WAY there, now!! I will be very relieved when I get to a place where peace is my mainstay once more.

Alrighty then, time to wrap this up- have been trying to post it for 4 days. It’s been amazing  getting this out of my system. Writing, for me, is so therapeutic!!  It helps to simplify things in my head. God bless you. Puff Puff Pass, brothers and sisters!!





Carving a Spot for Me

One thought on “Carving a Spot for Me

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